John Donne Explains How it All Went Wrong

My metaphor worked! — brought to my bed
London's most provocative cock tease!
I pulled back the sheets. She shrieked and fled.
(Quite a difference twixt real and mock fleas!)

Come Fly With Me

Dammit, Mr. Blake! Flies are not at all
Like thee or me (or him or her or us).
Swatter in hand, I nail 'em to the wall
Without regret. Sorry! (I'm not a wuss.)

by David Alpaugh

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Available in print

David Alpaugh has published poetry, fiction, and criticism in literary publications that include the hilarious Light and Asinine Poetry; the serious Chronicle of Higher Education; the mainstream Poetry: A Magazine of Verse; and the counter-cultural Exquisite Corpse and Evergreen Review. His new book Crazy Dave Talks With The Poets is most parodic. More of his work is available at www.davidalpaugh.com