The Frazzled Shepherd to His Overworked Nymph
Come live with me and be my love
And we'll pursue our dual careers.
For cars and meals, a roof above
Call for two paychecks now, my Dear.
Nights we'll watch TV together
(Too pooped from grinding ten hour days);
But we'll have cable, so the weather
We'll watch as on our couch we laze.
And I will make you meals at night
From over processed food I buy.
What say you to Tuna Delight?
Or maybe we'll have Shepherd's Pie.
And we will raise our son so fine
(With help from daycare personnel).
We'll read him tales when we have time
Before to bed we drag ourselves.
Our heat, our clothes, our car upkeep,
Our VISA bills and house payments—
Do pile up, week after week,
In debt so ripe, in savings stagnant.
So let us sport us (whoops! wrong poem;
And I'm too tired anyway)—
If these conditions sound okay
Then let us sleep, tomorrow's Monday.
by Matt Birkenhauer
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Matt Birkenhauer teaches English at Northern Kentucky University's Grant County Center, with an emphasis on Composition and Rhetoric. He lives in Ludlow, KY, with his wife and two sons. In his free time, he likes to read, write poetry, spoof politics and religion (TheSpoof.com), and spend time with Ann, his lovely Nymph of thirty-eight years.